When anger gets loud – Dealing with aggressive behaviour

Anger and aggression in children and adolescents often arise from inner tension, overload, or helplessness. In this unit, you’ll learn how to interpret aggressive behaviour in a developmentally supportive way and how to de-escalate critical situations with confidence. Based on neuropsychological foundations, you’ll understand the connections between stress, brain development, and co-regulation – and how you, as an adult, can remain calm, provide security, and maintain boundaries without becoming overpowering. You’ll reflect on your own triggers, discover concrete strategies for before, during, and after escalation, and strengthen your attitude towards challenging behaviour.

Warm up

"Aggression, to me, means..."

Complete this sentence spontaneously

Discuss with your buddy:

  • What feelings does aggressive behaviour evoke in you?

  • How were you influenced in dealing with anger?

Learn

Aggression usually arises from an internal imbalance—not from malice!

Aggressive feelings or behaviours are not bad or dangerous per se – they are part of being human. Originally, they served self-protection, boundary defence and survival. Even today, aggression can take many forms: from standing up for one's needs, to anger, to destructive violence.

The important thing is to distinguish between constructive and destructive aggression.

more about aggression

 

Finished?

Read the summary of "When Aggression Is a Cry for Help"
 

READ  

Discuss with your buddy:

What causes of aggression do you observe in the young people around you?

 

Dive in 1

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Transfer 1

Exercise on Emotional Regulation

“Anger is like a volcano”:

  • Together with the young people, draw a volcano.

Reflect: What does anger feel like? What makes it start to boil?

  • Develop “release valves” together (strategies to use before the explosion happens): movement, stress ball, music, a retreat space, words instead of actions.

  • Create an “anger traffic light” from this:

    • red = escalation

    • yellow = warning signs

    • green = regulation possible

Let each young person design their own personal traffic light.

Transfer 2

Write a Case Example

Create a written (anonymised) case example from your own practice in which an aggressive situation occurred.


Analyse it using the following guiding questions:

  • What causes might lie behind the behaviour?

  • What did you specifically observe (not interpret)?

  • Which of your reactions was helpful – and what would you do differently in hindsight?

  • From today’s perspective, how could you have acted in a co-regulating way?

Finished? Exchange with your buddy:

  • What was understandable?

  • Where do I see alternative ways?

Reflect

Reflect

Choose one or more questions together with your buddy and answer them together:

  • How confident am I in dealing with escalating situations?

  • What triggers my own anger?

  • Can I also understand aggression as an invitation to connect?

  • How can I provide stability – without trying to control the child?

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