Strengthening Relationships – Fostering Social Competences
Social relationships are not a “side effect” of educational work – they are the foundation of education.
This unit conveys the scientific foundations of social competences and provides practice-oriented impulses for fostering sustainable relationships in schools, youth centers, and other educational contexts. Reference is made, among other things, to the understanding of empathy, appreciation, and self-regulation as key competences for dealing with diversity, conflicts, and community.
Warm up
Neuroscientists such as Gerald Hüther point out that human learning is primarily relationship-dependent – not content-dependent.
So the question is not: What do I convey? but: What relationship experience do I enable?
- When did a child or adolescent show me trust recently?
- What did I do that made closeness, safety, or openness possible?
Learn
Strengthening relationships means showing children and adolescents:
“I see you. I take you seriously. You are not alone.”
Central aspects:
Empathy: the ability to empathize with others
Appreciation: not tied to performance
Reliability: through clear rules & consistency
Attentiveness: genuine listening & sincere attentiveness
Emotional safety: the basis for learning processes
Relationships need time, repetition, and openness.
Small gestures can have a big effect – e.g., a calm conversation, eye contact, a thoughtfully prepared snack for break time, or an invitation to have a say.
You can find more on this here and read:
What does “strengthening relationships” mean?
Done?
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Observe in a targeted way for one day or reflect retrospectively:
When did you come into genuine contact with children/adolescents?
Which reactions did you perceive? -
Note three situations in which you actively strengthened relationship – and one in which that did not succeed.
Exchange with your buddy: What can you learn from this?
Dive in 1
Social competences are not innate – they develop through relationship experiences, through role models, and through deliberate pedagogical guidance.
Examples of important social skills:
- Being able to name feelings
- Resolving conflicts nonviolently
- Expressing needs
- Taking responsibility
- Showing consideration
- Learning to tolerate frustration
- Children who feel safe show more willingness to cooperate and are more open to new learning content.
- The experience of being heard and seen is particularly important – especially when behavior “disrupts.”
Social competences develop in relationship – not in frontal instruction.
More on this read here:
Social competences: More than good manners
Done?
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Think of a concrete situation from your pedagogical everyday life:
Which social competence was particularly required here?
How did you solve the situation? -
Consider in exchange:
Which (new) pedagogical structure could help to strengthen this competence more specifically?
Example:
→ Conflicts in group games? → Introduction of a “talking ball” to regulate taking turns speaking.
→ Children shouting at each other? → Visualization of the “I-message” rule.
Transfer 1
“Impact instead of claim”
Create the following list for yourself:
3 moments from the last week in which you were truly “present.”
2 attitudes that helped you with this.
1 aspect that you consciously want to change (e.g., reaction to disruptions, allowing closeness, obtaining feedback).
Optional: Ask a colleague for feedback:
“When was I visibly supportive for you or for others?”
Transfer 2
Implementation with children and adolescents
Concrete practical ideas:
Emotion diary: children note one feeling each day & why it is there.
Appreciation wall: everyone can write down positive observations for others.
Community circle (once per week): exchange about challenges, solutions, ideas.
Relationship meter: children rate: “How connected did I feel today?”
Mentor system: older ones support younger ones during difficult transitions.
Important: Not “promote” in the sense of evaluating – but create spaces in which social learning becomes possible.
Reflect
Imagine: In your institution the motto applies: “Here it’s about people, not just content.”
What would your everyday life, your team, and your stance have to look like for this sentence to be true?
Write down in two sentences:
What you are already doing
What you want to strengthen in the future