Relationship Competence in Educational Work
Professional relationships are the foundation of educational practice – but when does closeness become helpful, and when does it become too much? And how can distance be maintained without seeming cold or dismissive?
This unit invites you to analyze your own relational behavior, connect empathy and self-care, and develop a sustainable balance between genuineness, clarity and role security.
It is intended for all who want to consciously shape relationships – in everyday educational settings as well as in challenging situations.
Warm up
“Relationship is not a means to an end – it is the ground on which learning can grow.”
– Jesper Juul
Spontaneously note three situations from your practice in which closeness was important to you – and three in which distance helped you.
➤ Exchange with your buddy: What is easier for you – closeness or setting boundaries?
or
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When did you experience particularly successful relationship-building – what was the key?
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Where do you encounter dilemmas between closeness and professional distance?
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What does “professional” mean to you in the context of relationships?
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Where do roles, boundaries and responsibilities blur in your everyday work?
Done?
Exchange with your buddy:
Tell each other one situation in which you experienced closeness as enriching – or as burdensome.
Learn
Professional relationship-building requires a sensitive balance:
too much closeness can foster dependency or violate boundaries
too much distance makes trust and connection difficult.
Between these poles, professionals develop their relational competence – always within the tension between role, person and context.
Read more here:
Closeness and Distance as a Field of Tension
Done?
Reflect together with your buddy:
Which stance on relationship-building becomes clear in Closeness and Distance as a Field of Tension – and where do you see parallels or tensions with your everyday practice?
Dive in 1
Attitude, Presence and Boundaries in Relationships
Relationships in the educational field rely on presence, authenticity and clarity. Closeness does not mean arbitrariness or control – but is linked to conscious responsibility, guidance and holding an empathic space.
Find out more:
Attitude, Presence and Boundaries in Relationships
Do you want to know what a Closeness–Distance Profile is and how it can help you?
A Closeness–Distance Profile is a practice-oriented reflection tool that allows educational professionals to analyze their personal relational behavior, regulate it more consciously, and develop it professionally. It helps to systematically examine one’s own actions – especially in emotionally demanding contexts.
Find out more:
What is a Closeness–Distance Profile?
Directly for use:
Reflection Sheet: My Closeness–Distance Profile
Buddy-Team Task:
Observe one everyday situation each (live or recalled) in which closeness or distance became relevant.
Document:
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What was helpful?
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What was questionable?
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What conclusions do you draw from this?
Transfer 1
Professional relationship competence is not a technique – but an expression of attitude. After all of this input, it is now about drawing concrete conclusions for your educational practice.
Let’s begin:
Choose one aspect of your relational behavior (e.g., greeting, conducting conversations, closeness in one-to-one interactions) and describe:
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what you currently do
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what effect it has
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what you would like to try in the future – and why
Transfer 2
Application in Everyday Educational Practice
Relationship-building is not only individual – but structural. It influences participation, protection and development. Institutions that take relationships seriously transform educational cultures.
Together with your buddy:
Design a vision for an educational institution in which professional closeness AND healthy distance are structurally anchored.
What would need to change at the institutional level (e.g., feedback culture, professional development, safeguarding concepts, supervision)?
Reflect
Relationship-building requires reflection AND ritualization. Only through conscious practice do safety and change emerge.
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Which stance do you want to consciously embody in the future?
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Develop a relationship-care ritual (e.g., weekly check-in, greeting ritual, reflection impulse in the team) and try it in your practice. Document your observations.